A super personal note I recently wrote, completely and utterly inspired by, and using the framework of Meredith Hill’s article “Shunned.”
“Friends. Acquaintances. Strangers. Community. There are not many ways these memberships can change. As a child in the seventh grade, I knew stories of girls who pushed away the burger and fries. Without hesitation. Stayed hungry. I knew men and women who practically lived at the gym. We all knew them. We all knew girls who were too stubborn to listen to their mothers telling them to eat wholesome meals, girls who would look around at the sound of their stomach growling to see if anyone had heard. We knew who would throw their lunch away in the trash at break time and explain that they had already eaten in second period. We even knew an anorexic. We called her skinny chick, as if her ability to stay thin was aspirational. And this was 2010. All these people were loved; they were the Community. The class presidents and cheerleaders and basketball stars’ girlfriends and scholars. They saw me on the daily yet never gave me a glance. They knew I was a part of the community, but did not consider me a part of theircommunity.
Then I dropped 30 pounds. Their community started to approach me. Glamour girls, I began to call our group, even though each one of us was out to one-up the other.
Over 7 years and a some stitches on my chin later. I sit back appalled at sheer stupidity surrounding this. Women competing with women to become like each other. Is it not tough enough being a woman in today’s world? Let us not make it tougher. To all of you women, I have to say, embrace yourself, embrace your fellow ladies for their similarities and differences, and celebrate diversity. There is absolutely no reason to assimilate, nor is there room to. Be you, and thousands of admirers will watch as you carve your mini world in this vast universe.” -MS
Then I dropped 30 pounds. Their community started to approach me. Glamour girls, I began to call our group, even though each one of us was out to one-up the other.
Over 7 years and a some stitches on my chin later. I sit back appalled at sheer stupidity surrounding this. Women competing with women to become like each other. Is it not tough enough being a woman in today’s world? Let us not make it tougher. To all of you women, I have to say, embrace yourself, embrace your fellow ladies for their similarities and differences, and celebrate diversity. There is absolutely no reason to assimilate, nor is there room to. Be you, and thousands of admirers will watch as you carve your mini world in this vast universe.” -MS
